Summertime by Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince – A Parody

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Last month we had a lovely family holiday in Cornwall.  Unfortunately that lovely holiday started with a four hour road trip from hell, and thus inspired this little parody.  Grab your shoe horn, and get ready to bust out some rhymes.

Summer Summer Summertime
Can you sit back and be quiet?

The car's all packed and so is the roof box,
Front door's been checked to see if it's been locked.
Kid are buckled in and we're ready to vacation,
Sat nav tells us four hours 'till our destination.
We begin our journey and the kids are just fine,
Mummy's looking forward to her first sip of wine.
But things are about to get shit,
Ten miles in and the traffic jam hits us.
It  appears we are not the only fools,
who have decided it's time to down tools.
So many cars full of kids, luggage and beach balls,
The whole world and their dog are heading for Cornwall.
 
Summer Summer Summertime
Can you sit back and be quiet?
Summer Summer Summertime
Can you sit back and be quiet?

 
The kids are bored and they're making a fuss,
Time to bribe them with sweeties, “Now please hush”.
The kids are having none of this,
They're making it clear that they are real pissed.
Dad's temper is frayed, and mine even more so,
“We're on holiday, don't be so ungrateful”.
Driving around there's still two hours to go,
“No we're not nearly there, not even close.”
“No I don't know why the roads are so busy,
These non stop questions are making me dizzy”.
“Guys please chill and play on the Game Boy,
And no, I'm sorry, but I didn't pack that toy”.
I turn around to see what's making you moan,
It's like this car is a natural torture zone.
Stop looking at your brother, it's making him shout,
If this carries on much longer I'm jumping out.
 
Summer Summer Summertime
Can you sit back and be quiet?
Summer Summer Summertime
Can you sit back and be quiet?
 
An hour to go and the kids are both crying,
The DVD player's battery is dying.
We've run out of snacks and the car is a mess,
Mummy's had a meltdown 'cause she's trying her best.
We can't follow through with all the threats that we've issued,
Like “We're going home if you don't change your attitude”.
We've used all of the parenting tactics,
Like games, bribes, pleads, threats and silly antics.
Sitting with my husband we reminisce,
About the days without kids and easy road trips.
And as I sit back I wonder how,
We'll ever make a trip again without falling out.
My ass is numb and I've had enough,
The toddlers face is orange from eating cheese puffs.
Now there's five miles to go and the stress is slipping away.
We've made it, we're finally here,
I shed a tear and both the kids cheer.
I get out of the car looking somewhat dishevelled,
But we've all survived, it's really a miracle.
I try not to think about seven days time,
When back into the car we'll all climb.
Now's the time to open that wine,
it might be warm but I don't mind.
I raise my glass and say “Thank God that's over”.
There's an air of love and of happiness,
And this is a Mamas definition of road trip madness.
 
Summer Summer Summertime
Can you sit back and be quiet?
Summer Summer Summertime
Can you sit back and be quiet?
 
Apologies to DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.  

Claire blogs over at Life, Love and Dirty Dishes and is the mother of 2 gorgeous and very naughty boys.  She has been married to her partner for 11 years and is in her mid thirties.  When she’s not washing, wiping tears, tickling toes or tidying toys she likes to disappear inside her own head and work on her blog.